I have been at my new job post layoffs for one week(at the time of writing this) and I am finally ready to write about my experience of layoffs. This isn’t some lesson or a “how to” guide for anything. This is my story of grief, acceptance and growth. I hope it speaks to you.

PART 1- GRIEF

It was a regular morning in January. My eyes flipped open and I stuck out my hand blindly feeling around the bedside table for my phone as a typical millennial. It was 8 am. I saw an email inviting me to a meeting at 6 pm that day. Email subject read “a discussion about your role at Oyster”. In what was the longest ten hours of my life yet, I found out I had been impacted by layoffs and I no longer had a job.

In that moment there was a flurry of feelings.

Shock and denial

I was shocked and numb for an hour or so. I shared the news with my partner and for a few minutes we wondered what the message meant. A discussion, meaning there was hope? Was I fired? What did that mean for our plans this year? Oh God, who am I without a job?

Shame

I had just shared the first edition of my newsletter where I advocated for planning and setting goals as a way to stay on track and achieve things. I had sat down and set my own goals based on the idea that my career was progressing a certain way.

More still, being a millennial, my sense of self worth is critically interwoven with the ability to be productive and thrive in capitalism–lol. And so I was ashamed. That somehow I have done or “not done” something to deserve this fate. Because why was I an acceptable cut and not others? I remember telling only two of my best friends and swearing them to secrecy because I wanted to figure out the best way to break such embarrassing news.

Anger

I found it hard to fathom that I was chosen for termination as I was on the verge of making a few big changes in my life that my superiors at Oyster knew about. Changes that depended on my employment. Changes that when now curtailed, meant that I still had to pay money for nothing.

I was angry that the life I had dreamt of was snatched from me. I was angry that one of the best experiences of a workplace had ended this way. This isn’t how careers are meant to advance. Not with an abrupt end and you left to fend for yourself.

Sadness

And then the tears came. I had no job. I was experiencing a loss that I had not foreseen. An era of growth and learning and confidence had come to an end.

I felt all these feelings and more. But that is not where the story ends. Because dealing with layoffs is a real lesson in the resilience of humans. And my story is no different.

PART 2- RECOVERY

I eventually came to a place of acceptance of my situation. But I couldn’t do that alone. My community was the lifeline I needed in that instance. And they came through.

Community

In the week of my termination, my partner took two days off so we could do non-work/coping activities together. Like taking Wednesday off so we can stay in and watch TV and cuddle on the couch while ordering in all my favorites. We spent Friday eating waffles and playing mini golf and overdoing it on the ice cold sugar filled slushies. My best friends called in from Ghana and we would talk for ages on the phone just to keep me company and distract me.

My work community–boy did they come through for me. From calls with my previous manager to my previous director to my work buddies. Even some who had been impacted by the layoffs themselves were putting their grieving aside and spending time comforting me and helping determine my next steps. Community is very important, and they are a central point in this story.

PART 3- BOUNCING BACK

My experience with bouncing back was also a mixture of feelings that can be categorized into two themes. Desperation and Hope.

Desperation

I was in a deep state of denial when I started applying for roles. I went on a frantic job search trying to fix the problem as quickly as I can so that it will be like the layoff never happened. I applied for roles I knew I didn’t want and even some that were (in all honesty) below my qualification level. I was even venturing for roles in different fields than the one I wanted. I just wanted very badly to undo the situation and was not prioritizing my needs or motivations.

My confidence had been shattered and I was spiraling a little bit.

Hope

Layoffs suck, and it takes a few weeks to even get to the point where you’re ready to face the world again. But I promise you that it happens. By engaging with my friends, family and loved ones, I slowly started to regain my confidence in myself and my abilities. I must also mention that THERAPY was very helpful.

I finally came to a place where I defined what I wanted to do and how I wanted the future to look and went looking for that. I can confidently share that this was the single turning point for me. And that place came from speaking to my mentors and beloved friends Samyuktha Dega and DJ Oragui. Armed with that confidence, applications started to look different. By the third week of March 2023, I was at the offer stage at two amazing startups.

Community is everything to me. And so when I made a turn from the depths of grief, I began to invest in that again. Speaking to experts in the field, speaking to individuals who just affirmed me and reminded me that it gets better really helped. Working my way through numerous stages of job applications would not have been as smooth as it was without my mentors and friends who reviewed my work, gave me mock interviews and advised me on negotiations.

As I start my new job with Teamed, an awesome startup with a mandate of making hiring borderless, I am grateful for the hope and confidence that saw me through this situation and the community that helped me bounce back!